Friday, November 22, 2013

Data Poem Time!

(Inspired / modified from Robert Frost's "Nothing Gold Can Stay" and Elizabeth Barrett Browning's "How Do I Love Thee")

Nothing Old Can Stay (A poem about data archiving and purging)

Website's first orders are cold,
Its hardest rows to query.
The original hits were a joy;
But only until the second deploy.
Then buffer pages are not marked new,
As the data grew and grew,
Till the web traffic of today.
Nothing old can stay.


How Do I Join Thee

How do I join thee?  Let me count the rows.
I join thee to the maximum join size
My join buffer will permit in bytes
For after that it is written on disk,
Though performance is less brisk.
I join thee first on the left with sighs
I join thee then on the inner sides.
I join thee not only so I can join other tables
But to sum and aggregate over thy labels.
I join thee using thy reference column
I join thee in my reports so solemn.
Select, Delete, Update, or Insert:
I shall join thee until I cause an alert.